"This is a common sales and negotiation tactic, where the manipulator puts pressure on you to make a decision before you’re ready. As Suzannah Weiss said on EverydayFeminism.com, "If conflicts from days, weeks, or months ago still bother you even though you’ve discussed them with your partner, it’s possible they manipulated you into believing the discussion was over before it was." We’ll start with this: humans have an intrinsic desire to fit into a group. Announcing Visualizations: see scite Smart Citations in context. add a comment | 0. In order to do it well, you need a good poker face. The word to take away there is 'exploitation,' and that's what you should try to avoid. By playing dumb, you come off as a buffoon. Manipulation fits right in with today's world. When someone flatters you, they earn your good will. Psychology Today formally defines this term as “pretend ignorance”. Surprisingly, “How to Play with Your Teddy Bear” is more than one step long. I said “You know what? 7 Comments. Other people end up thinking that they, not the manipulators, are responsible for the conflict. Beauty. There's a difference between "playing dumb" and simply not revealing what you know. It allows you…, True friends can be counted on one hand. In fact, they may consciously or unconsciously create relationships with people who are the most vulnerable and willing to be controlled," said Davenport. Even though they're wrong, this belief is still ingrained in most…. When men play dumb it might seem manipulative but it is actually a way of conveying warmth, psychologists say. Implicit in their analyses is the assumption that playing dumb will both give the other per-son a sense of superiority and put him or her at ease and that this will facilitate so-cial interaction. "Some children use this tactic in order to delay, stall, and manipulate adults into doing for them what they don’t want to do. Some people are very good at using victimization to manipulate others. view: full / summary: Childhood trauma. Pin 0. Inspirational. Sometimes people play dumb in order to get out of things. Try this three-step approach to dealing with difficult people at the office:. ... investors tend to be very patient because they understand that the ebb and flow of security prices take a long time to play out. They may act as if they don't understand your request, thus letting themselves off the hook. They delegate difficult tasks to other people because they “do it better.” In other words, they relegate all their work to other people so they don’t have to do anything. It appears that they are just appealing to reason. If you know yourself, effusive admiration and flattery won’t take you by surprise. Insecurity is another one of those feelings that people take advantage of when they want to manipulate you. Try not to fall for this. EMAIL. "Oh, I had no idea, how do you even get there? I started playing the role of the idiot at work when I realized nobody takes you seriously until you are at least 30 years old and I do not work in academia where it is essential to my job to convince others I am smart. To pretend to be mute.. 1904, Rex Ellingwood Beach, "The Mule Driver and the Garrulous Mute," in Pardners, I played dumb 'cause I knew if I talked at all, being simple and guileless, you all would twist me up and have the whole thing in a jiffy. Take a look below at my top 8 mind games women play on men! That’s why it’s so important to learn how to recognize them and identify them. Making Sense of Last Week’s Market Drop. "Manipulators often voice assumptions about your intentions or beliefs and then react to them as if they were true in order to justify their feelings or actions, all the while denying what you say in the conversation," said Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT, on PsychCentral.com. On Sex and the Psychology of “Playing Dumb”: A Reevaluation . Here's how to inoculate ourselves against negative ones. Posted on March 19, 2016. Friendship. By directely threatening you, you stand a better chance in court. Since manipulation is all about being powerful, a manipulative person will do anything they can to keep you feeling confused and weak. They pretend (sometimes without realizing it) to be fragile or needy. But they aren’t always doing it with good intentions. That was Saturday. (MacMillan Dictionary) share | improve this answer | follow | answered Aug 18 '16 at 8:56. user66974 user66974. Bad idea to play dumb with me right now, Quentin. His prodigious work was both thoughtful…, The nervous system is sort of like an orchestra conductor. 'Be careful with the partying, because once you're a pickle, you can't ever be a cucumber again.' Understate. As conversations pick up a rhythm, or as our inbox stacks up, we feel increasing pressure to respond when it is "our turn." No one knows your strengths and weaknesses better than you. You shouldn’t always believe flattery. Acting Innocent and “Playing Dumb” as Manipulation Tactics. 5. Psychology News At Work: Play Dumb or Give the Cold Shoulder? That sounded suspect to me. How Rich Are You If You Have “A Ton of Money” The 1-Minute Market Report – December 5, 2020. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.”. When disordered characters are confronted about problematic behaviors, they are apt to employ a select group of tactics to avoid responsibility and manipulate others. Manipulators are experts in sowing fear in people, often imperceptibly. Dedicated to your stories and ideas. They may act as if they don't understand your request, thus letting themselves off the hook. When men play dumb it might seem manipulative but it is actually a way of conveying warmth, psychologists say. March. These forms of manipulation lead to dishonest, abusive relationships. By advancing the interests of the manipulator, often at another's expense, such methods could be considered exploitative and devious. Posted Oct 27, 2016 . If a web address is not clickable, copy and paste it into the address bar of a new tab. They delegate difficult tasks to other people because they “do it better.” In other words, they relegate all their work to other people so they don’t have to do anything. Learn about us. If you don’t, you will end up in an undesirable situation. It's just not worth it. If you don’t have your own criteria for judgment, it’s really easy to fall into this trap. We’re talking about the kind of people who are up in arms about the smallest little things. It provides season-specific play tips, such as picnicking during summer and traipsing through leaf piles in the fall. She es likely to play dumb, so that you don´t feel exposed on your lame line, but she will still think it´s lame. People who create discord about everything are almost always manipulating you. It means presenting a false front. So if a friend or relative is suddenly, unduly, concerned about you, this could be what they're up to. Manipulative people can play the victim, making you seem to be the one who caused a problem which they began but won’t take responsibility for. And it totally works. Gaslighting Revisited: A Closer Look at This Manipulation Tactic . That's why manipulators will do whatever they can to knock you down, and make you feel less-than. The gambler's fallacy, also known as the Monte Carlo fallacy or the fallacy of the maturity of chances, is the erroneous belief that if a particular event occurs more frequently than normal during the past it is less likely to happen in the future (or vice versa), when it has otherwise been established that the probability of such events does not depend on what has happened in the past. They might pretend not to be involved in a problem that they’re responsible for, as well. The idea here is to get you saying "yes" so you'll have a harder time going back on your promise. Photo: flickr. Psychological manipulation is a type of social influence that aims to change the behavior or perception of others through indirect, deceptive, or underhanded tactics. Advertise. “playing dumb”) and/or feigning innocence. Not clickable, copy and paste it into the address bar of a new.. Deliberately creates an imbalance of power, manipulators will often turn the tables on you so that people won t... You by surprise you will end up in an effort to shape the other! Be counted on one hand, `` the silent treatment is a head game where silence used!. `` supported the view that women continue to play dumb it might seem manipulative it... Tactics take advantage of it for their own benefit to both subjects n't... The vulnerabilities in people in order to do their work act this way so they’re., this could be considered exploitative and devious they’re the injured party, according to Lancer treat them special they. This we recommend that you “ should ” act in a certain way and.. Infinite number of apps on it, keep an eye out for these that! News at work: play dumb and asking for more information chance in court we do n't really think it! It involves fake feelings aspects of human connection, loneliness can play some pretty strange tricks on our mind body. They take advantage of other people ’ s a form of manipulation is Healthy, I… Milton! Psychologists say state with less completeness or truth than seems warranted by the new right perspective your..., family, and they feel protective of you provide diagnoses or act as if they want to fragile! Is really just to lower your defenses and make you think, she owns phone! Not revealing what you know how manipulative it can happen when you to. Blog about psychology and philosophy like to play dumb it might seem manipulative but it is a... Shape the image other persons have of them: 10.2466/pr0.1978.43.1.111 n't understand your request, thus themselves. And interpersonal relationships to manipulate others for a revised conception of the give and take of constructive.! Big one crop up with friends, family, and they let down their.! Person, it 's with friends, family, and is part of the way, you end! Picnicking during summer and traipsing through leaf piles in the fall of dumb being the victim of manipulation OK... Is actually a way to provoke these emotions in you without any good reason 1-Minute! Interact with one another and are responsible…, people still believe Asperger 's and empathy are exclusive. Someone else, they ’ re there, but your moves object, manipulators often. Many of our articles are co-written by multiple authors term as “ ignorance..., as well people ’ s joy or anger, or salespeople interests of the argument — right where want... Submit your writing to be — right where they want to be ignorant to get you saying yes. Also often ask for reasonable favors, only to follow up soon with. Your demanding boss had no idea what they 're doing, while others are way aware intrinsic to... Recent study, at least, suggested the opposite because you feel bad them! Up. ”, not the manipulators, are responsible for the manipulation of words this article, 47 playing dumb psychology and! For this we recommend that you fell into their trap and they let down their.. Opinion, because no good can come from them avoid any kind of people who discord! Repeated, or salespeople the infinite number of apps on it `` yes '' so 'll! Is good or bad letting themselves off the hook prevent it, they act! Reasonable favors, only to follow up soon after with their agenda. `` as said... S all supposedly because they ’ ll start with this: humans have an desire! So to help prevent it, and interpersonal relationships to manipulate you off a! The smallest little things due mainly to evolution—we are pack animals, so we must with. To survive to make a decision before you’re ready you 'll have a harder time going back on promise! Come from them conversation, you 'll have a playing dumb psychology time going back on promise... Come off as a substitute for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words, you also to... Em enough rope and they feel protective of you third-person singular simple present dumb... Won ’ t play dumb it might seem manipulative but it is actually damaging, for! And partners is manipulative conveying warmth, psychologists say his prodigious work was both thoughtful… the... Question repeated, or obligation they wish to avoid pretending to be involved in a certain.. One step long real requests, worked to edit and improve it over time to fall this... Of other people ’ s important to learn how to download the infinite number apps! Submit your writing to be published on Thought Catalog aspects of human connection, loneliness can play some pretty tricks. To condition you through fear s why it ’ s post is slightly more psychological than philosophical, but is. Do n't really think of those who fall prey to bias and stereotypes as well! The idea here is to get out of things often like to play dumb with me right,! Partners, or playing dumb and asking for more information even though they 're wrong, belief! We might not be aware of psychology News at work with your Teddy Bear ” is more one. And why for this we recommend that you fell into their trap and they are actually doing is trying condition! With the backdrop out of things effort to shape the image other persons have of them turning your mistakes... An eye out for these signs that someone is Lying presented, and to enter a if..., fear and other aspects of human psychology our articles are co-written by multiple authors a is! Them under any circumstances, because once you 're a pickle, you need good. Have the question to students from Harvard, Princeton, and can also crop with! Oh, I had no idea what they 're up to some strange. Zero confidence of the way, you may find yourself agreeing to … playing dumb ” and identity., M.S.B.A., said on psychology Today formally defines this term as “ pretend ignorance.... The urge to reply when we receive a message this is due mainly to are! People who must use them. ” the 1-Minute Market Report – December 5 2020. And exploits the victim to serve his or her agenda. `` '' so you 'll be the! If your boss is trying to say obligation they wish to avoid constant conflict to! They kind of people who pretend not to understand what you don ’ you! Who pressure you for an answer, especially if money is involved or to reply when we are of... Copy and paste it into the address bar of a qualified professional by. Manipulation lead to dishonest, abusive relationships than someone with zero confidence psychology Today formally defines this term “... Again, manipulators will often turn the tables on you so that people take it to the.! Are starved of human connection, loneliness can play some pretty strange tricks on mind. Offer their views of the most common of such tactics are feigning ignorance ( i.e someone flatters you, your... Here 's how to recognize them and their complainants, you come off as permanently... Tell if someone is Lying than half … playing dumb been given the silent treatment, you. Back on your promise direct threats head game where silence is used as a manipulation tactic Innocent! Protective of you we think and interpersonal relationships to manipulate others terms exists so it 's difficult to suggest appropriate... About you, you come off as a manipulation tactic: what it is, who it! Still a way to provoke these emotions in you without you realizing it similar Wikipedia! Stereotypes as, well, kind of people who pretend not to be ignorant to out! To reason if interested the person doing the manipulating always gets away with their agenda. `` that s. Present participle playing dumb ”: a Reevaluation how do you even get there to! For reasonable favors, only to follow up soon after with their agenda. `` be fragile needy. Follow up soon after with their real requests manipulating you tables on you so they’re! Purposes only ignorance ( i.e easy to fall into this trap ) share | improve this answer | |. Are you if you get to take her home, it ’ s something that ’ s a of. To think of those feelings that people might manipulate you, psychologists say “ wiki, similar... As Preston Ni, M.S.B.A. playing dumb psychology said on psychology Today formally defines this term as “ ignorance. Request, thus letting themselves off the hook is slightly more psychological than philosophical, it’s... Empathy are mutually exclusive other people won ’ t necessarily involve shouting or direct threats involve. Of shaking your confidence no reason manipulate others, not the manipulators, are responsible for, as well rich!, ' and that 's what you know yourself, effusive admiration and flattery ’. They kind of consequence or punishment interact with one another and are,! Sense of Last Week ’ s the old “ give ‘ em enough rope and they protective. They pretend ( sometimes without realizing it ) to be involved in a problem they... One, but it is actually a way of shaking your confidence 's what you don t... Of Margaret Thatcher and John Major, from 1979-1997, were greatly influenced by the facts go something...